Rise of the Guardians: An inside look
by Sandgirl555
Summary: During the movie, what were the Guardians and Pitch ACTUALLY thinking? Is Pitch crazier then we imagined? Please read to find out!
1. Pitch and Jack have a little chat

Ok, so in the movies, everyone sounds all heroic and well composed. But their brain probably wasn't nearly so much :). These are just some random drabbles I made of what everyone was actually thinking when the movie was going on. Disclaimer: I do not own Rise Of the Guardians. Also, the guardians/Pitch's thoughts are in italics.

Scene 1: Pitch.

"I thought this might happen. They never really believed in you. I was just trying to show you that," Pitch said.

Of course, his mind said otherwise. _Technically it's my fault they don't believe in you anymore, so you should really be upset at me. But, ahaha, I'm not telling you that. _He found himself thinking._ Stupid ice boy. I bet his brain is made of ice. Ice brain. Ahahaa I've gotta use that insult sometime. Now how to get him on my side? If I do, not only will I have his power AND a family, but I will also have a whole ARMY of fangirls spread throughout the globe under my control! Hmm… I definitely need THAT. To get him on my side, I'll tell him I understand what he's going through to get him on my side. Hehe. He won't be able to refuse my awesomeness then!_

"But I understand." Pitch articulately stated.

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!" Jack yelled back, shooting ice at Pitch.

_Whaaaat? Oh, great, Ice Brain's acting like a teenager with mental issues and a side of ANGER MANAGEMENT. Calm down. Breeeeeathe. This is good. Denial is the first step of acceptance! Well, I'll deny that I don't know what it's like to be cast out too. Even though lots of people believe in me. Except now a lot of them are moving on to the Slenderman. Stupid Slenderman! Geez, all he is is a teleporting businessman with a serious need for plastic surgery for his face. I MEAN SERIOUSLY, YOU CHOOSE HIS NONEXISTANT WEIRD FACE OVER THIS HANDSOME DEVIL? OH NO THEY- oh, right, back to the emotional conversation. What to say…? _

"No! I know what its like to be cast out! To not be believed in! To long for… a family!"

_He'll like that, right? Yeah, cuz those STUPID GUARDIANS didn't invite him to be family before! Even though of course, neither did I. Also I told Jack at Tooth's Palace that I was gonna ignore him just because he was a neutral party. Hehe. I hope he doesn't remember that. That would be bad. I KNOW! I'll distract him from reality with my tragic backstory to make him feel badly for me._

"All those years in the shadows, I thought, no one knows what this feels like. But now I see I was wrong. You don't have to be alone Jack. I believe in you. And I know children will too."

_Yes… it's actually tru- I LIKE CHEEEEEEZEBURGERZ! Wait, where did THAT thought come from? Am I watching too much my little pony? Oh, shoot, did I say that out loud? I hope I didn't. That would be bad. Like, REALLY bad. Wait, focus on the victim- I, uh, I mean family. Person. Thing. Jack. Yeah, focus on Ice Brain._ _WHY WOULD I FOCUS ON ICE BRAIN? Take a deeeeep breath Pitch. Think about the fangirls. Armies and armies of fangirls under your command. Breathe in, breeeeathe out._

"In me?" Jack asked.

"Ye-es! LOOK at what we can do!" Pitch gestured to the giant black ice sculpture in front of them.

_Yeaaaah man that ice sculpture looks like my hair. Except not nearly as awesome as my ACTUAL hair of course. I spend one hour every night just to brush it out and gel it up. This thing took, like, a minute. Therefore- uh… wait. Alliance with Jack. Right, right, ok._

"What goes together better than COLD, and DARK!? We can make them believe! We can give them a world where everything, EVERYTHING is-"

"Pitch Black?" Jack interrupted.

_YES! EXACTLY! HE GOT IT- waaaaait. There's a catch to this, isn't there? Yeah, I bet there's a catch. Hmm… you're a smart, devilishly handsome man Pitch. What would an Ice Head like Jack think of? Uh… OH right! Jack's gonna be in this world too, right? Ugh, that would be awful! I would NEVER be able to live once he saw my pink hair-bow collection. I mean, how else am I supposed to get my hair to stick into spikes before I gel it anyways? Sandy has an orange barrette collection for the same reason! With purple flowers on them! Oh, getting off topic. Umm… so not just me…? Jack frost too? Yeah._

"And Jack Frost, too. They'll believe in both of us."

_Hahahaaa! I've got this one IN THE BAG! WHOO HOOO! Yeah, you go Pitchie! FEAR SHALL DOMINATE EVERYTHI- _

_"_No they'll FEAR both of us. And that's not what I want. Now for the last time, leave me alone!" Jack angrily stated.

_Wait… he… he didn't join me. In fact, that sounded an awful lot like a refusal. He wants to be LEFT ALONE? BY ME? He… he just REJECTED ME? Don't cry don't cry don'tcrydon'tcrydon'tcry. Show him Baby Tooth. Yeah. Her. _

_"_Very well. You want to be left alone? DONE. But first," He held out Baby Tooth. She whimpered.

_Yeah that's right Jack. Panic. FEEL SAD. Cuz I ain't NEVER lettin'_ _her go after YOU rejected me! I can feeeeel the panic…._

"BABY TOOTH!" panicked Jack.

"THE STAFF JACK! You have a bad habit of interfering,"

_Actually not really, you only did once or twice. But that is BESIDE THE POINT. REJECTION= NO JOY FOR YOU JACK. And ALSO I want to break your staff into a million pieces._

"Now hand it over, and I'll let her go."

_Yeah right let her go. THAT'S a good one. _Jack hesitated then handed over the staff.

"Alright, now let her go." He said.

_Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. So he just TRUSTED me to LET HER GO after he emotionally wounded me, yet he DIDN'T trust me when I said I'd like to be like his family? THAT IS UNCOOL MAN! I NEED SOMEONE AT LEAST 20% COOLER! RAINBOW DASH, FIGHT HIM WITH YOUR AWESOMENESS! Dramatic pause, aaaand-_

"NO. You said you wanted to be alone. So BE ALONE!"_ OUCH! SHARPBEAKSHARPBEAK OW OW OW! Must throw. WAIT THAT WAS BABY TOOTH! NOOOOOOOOOO! Ooopsies. Well, I still got the staff. I'll break it. YAAAAY breaking things! _CRACK. Pitch broke the staff.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Jack yelled. _OOOOOH cries of pain. TAKE THAT MEANIE! Or am I the meanie? Hmmmmmm… well, I just broke his staff and shoved him off this cliff thingy… soo… oh well. I feel like laughing. CUZ I AM EVIL. EVIL PEOPLE LAUGH. Wait, does that even make sense? Oh well. _

"Ha. Hahahahaha."

AAAND SCENE. What did'ja think? Please don't leave any mean comments, thanks! Any ideas for what scene I should write for next?


	2. My minion

Sorry for the short chapter. I'm gonna try to make them longer in the future. :)

Thanks for the chapter idea Elfera!

Hope you enjoy!

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"I'd say sweet dreams… but there aren't any left," Pitch said smoothly as he watched the Sandman get overcome with nightmare sand. Of course, while his outside demeanor was calm, his thoughts were anything but.

_OOOH! Goody goody! I made up my VERY OWN original comment! I mean, the go suck an egg comment to Bunny was ok but that's only cuz I heard a six year old saying it to her three year old brother. Wait, why was I watching them again? Wasn't it because she had ice cream and was about to drop it on the ground? Why did I even WANT that ice cream? It was VANILLA, for heavens sake. I only like chocolate! Oh geez better not let the egg sucker hear tha- OOOOH LOOKIE! Sandy is turning black! That is my favoritest color in the entire WORLD! You know, if he was normally shiny black, I think I wouldn't mind him so much. But nooooo, he had to be sparkly! Like Edward Cullen. VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE! At least, I don't think they do. I hope not. I swear, if I meet Edward Cullen and he ACTUALLY sparkles, I will- OOOOOH! Sandy. Is. Dead. Wow. I just killed him. Funny, I've never killed anyone before. I don't know if I liked it that much. Hold up. Nevermind. He just got turned into one of my nightmares. Cool. That makes him, like, my minion, right? AHAHHAAAAA my old enemy is now my minion. MUSH, my minion! Wait, the guardians are watching. Gotta keep up my reputation. Play it cool Pitch. Who am I kidding? JACK plays things COOL._

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Jack. He flew towards the black sand cloud where Sandy used to be and tried to attack Pitch.

_Well scratch THAT idea. Cool indeed. Psh. Again, Rainbow Dash beats you at your own game, Jackie! WHOA WHOA WHOA. You are flying too close, Jack! WAAAY TOO CLOSE! You are invading MY PERSONAL BUBBLE. It's MY bubble. Mine! Go ponies go! Attack him! Beat his face with your awesomeness! _

Jack, caught in the middle of a swarm of my little ponies- ahem, I mean nightmares, gathered his energy and let it out in a quick panic. Somehow the icy energy released from the winter spirit blew the nightmares up. Then he blacked out. Tooth caught him and quickly joined the rest of the guardians to make a hasty retreat. Pitch watched them go.

"FINALLY! Someone who knows how to have a little FUN!" Pitch said as he watched the guardians carry him off into the distance.

_Who am I kidding? That wasn't fun! He just blew up, like, half of my ponies! And plus, I don't even like fun. I mean seriously, if anyone DARES to have fun in my presence I willlllll… announce loudly that I am the boogeyman__**. (A/N: Remember at the end of the movie Pitch demands why the children DARE have fun in his presence? :O Pitch you never told us you were bi-polar!)**__ Cuz I'm just awesome like that. I'm the BOOGERMAN! Oh, oh no. That four year old finally got to me. I meant boogeyman! Geez how did I mispronounce my own name IN MY BRAIN? Oh well, I'm too awesome to care. Just like Rainbow Dash! And Pinkie Pie! I'm glad when my nightmare scared Tooth at her palace, I remembered to say "Easy girl" instead of "Easy Pinkie". That would be soooo embarrassing. Glad I remembered. Should I be chasing after the guardians to finish them off while they are still weak? Oh. Too late. They're gone. Oh well maybe next time. Wow. I just effectively KILLED the Sandman! He is my minion! TAKE THAT! I WIN! Whoohooooo! Now I'm gonna do my happy dance. Glad the guardians are too busy mourning for Sandy to notice. Whoo! How does it go again? Oh right! Hiiiips to the left! Aaaarms to the right! OPPAN GANGNAM STYLE! Now DO THE HARLEM SHAKE! Yeeeeeah man I look so good at this. I am a dancing BEAST! Hey, Minion! Wanna join in?... Why not? I DO NOT LOOK STUPID!_

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So what did ya think? For the next few chapters I'm thinking of doing Sandy's return (Thank you Frost for that idea :) ) North at the very beginning of the movie, and Jack right before Bunny stuffs him in a sack. :D Stay tuned!


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